5. All about Life #2

Instead of finding myself, I get lost deeper and deeper into the woods. Instead of walking, I fall and stay curl up and broken on the ground; too exhausted to get back up. I no longer care how long I stay there. I’ve been pretending to be strong for so long; Maybe happiness is just not in the book for me; at least in this lifetime.

Life challenge us constantly, people disappoint us consistently. The only one we can really trust and rely on is nobody; but ourselves. Despite that, I refuse to let the tear drops. It’s too precious for all that. I can feel my heart hardening by the second; the weight of it is a burden to my soul but I choose not to care anymore. It is my burden to carry.

I now wish for the pain to come; it’s better that the anger I feel inside. I am learning to forgive myself for believing this time was different. I want to laugh and cry at the same time; for having so much faith in life. But to hell with it all; for what do I know.

However much it hurts; I will not let the tears fall. Pretending to be strong is hard; keeping on smiling is even harder. So, I close my eyes and think of happier times and let my mind roam free in the night sky. Where love is always kind. Always protective; and never violent.

- by Simply me